


When you're walking alone?

by DelukahDo



Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber
Genre: College AU, Coronavirus, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Human AU, M/M, group chats, nsfw talk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:53:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23507176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DelukahDo/pseuds/DelukahDo
Summary: A group of college pals are suddenly separated due to the CoronaVirus pandemic. After being sent home and forced to socially distance themselves, they have started coming up with creative ways to keep everyone entertained and to stop everyone from going insane.This is a collection of their group chats and shenanigansI solemnly promise that nobody is going to die or get corona, this is just a light-hearted fic that will relate to our current situation and you dont have to worry about any angst like that
Relationships: Demeter/Munkustrap/Bombalurina, Mr. Mistoffelees/Rum Tum Tugger, Rumpleteazer/Victoria (Cats)
Comments: 119
Kudos: 146





	1. The Email

→ GroupMe: Cast Chat

**Munkustrap** : So I assume you all got the email?

 **Alonzo** : im killing myself

 **Etcetera** : What email?

 **Demeter** : School’s kicking everyone off campus because of corona

 **Etcetera** : what?????

 **Victoria** : I thought they were just moving to online classes and letting us stay on campus?

 **Demeter** : Not anymore, everybody moved out by the end of spring break.

 **Etcetera** : !?!?

 **Mungojerrie** : <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UO5RVi98MLA>

**Cassandra** : How am I supposed to move out by SUNDAY I’m literally in Dubai

 **Mistoffelees** : I just got the email, literal tears rn

 **Rumpleteazer** : but i was so excited to wreck the campus!

 **Victoria** : Are you guys all gonna be okay? Misto and I live close by if anyone needs help moving their stuff

 **Mistoffelees** : ^^^

 **Alonzo** : I’m looking for a flight home and I literally cannot find one

 **Alonzo** : This is whack

 **Alonzo** : Am I going to have to live out corona in a hotel?

 **Alonzo** : I have to call my mom

 **Tugger** : im packing my bags as we speak

 **Rumpleteazer** : wait, munkey, what’s gonna happen to TABOTPATPTWSAOTPOTPATPATIOTGRC???

 **Bombalurina** : It’s been cancelled, obviously

 **Bombalurina** : I just got the news. Sorry, guys.

 **Munkustrap** : Okay, first of all, it’s just ABOTPATP now

 **Munkustrap** : And secondly, I got an email from the director of student activities

 **Munkustrap** : All events cancelled, including our show.

 **Mungojerrie** : FUCK

 **Etcetera** : NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Mungojerrie** : I WAS SO PUMPED TO BE POLLICLE #1

 **Rumpleteazer** : and i was SOO killing the VERY IMPORTANT part of Peke #1 >:(((((

 **Victoria** : That’s so upsetting, I’m sorry Munkustrap :(

 **Munkustrap** : I’m just as upset as you guys are, trust me

 **Munkustrap** : But you know this isn’t the end of ABOTPATP, there’s always next semester

 **Munkustrap** : So think of this like a five month break

 **Rumpleteazer** : thank you, 5

 **Bombalurina** : Shut the fuck up?

 **Tantomile** : @Cassandra Do you want me to move your stuff out?

 **Cassandra** : Tanto thank you but there’s just so much of it I might just call the RA and see what we can do

 **Tantomile** : Oh nonsense, I’ll just stick everything in boxes and keep it at my place until you get back from Dubai

 **Cassandra** : Are you sure?

 **Coricopat** : I can help! Don’t worry!

 **Cassandra** : You’re the best roommate ever, I owe you

 **Tantomile** : Through good karma, all debts are repaid eventually.

 **Bombalurina** : This is gonna suck.

 **Pouncival** : i jUST woke up WHAT IS HAPPENING D:

→ PM Bombalurina <3

**Demeter** : I’m FREAKING OUT

 **Bombalurina <3**: Talk it out, babygirl

 **Demeter** : HALF OF MY CLASSES ARE LABS

 **Demeter** : HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THEM ONLINE?

 **Demeter** : I’M SUPPOSED TO BE APPLYING FOR MED SCHOOL NEXT YEAR

 **Demeter** : WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TO MY GRADES

 **Demeter** : I CAN’T GO IN FOR OFFICE HOURS NOW

 **Demeter** : I HAVE TO VIDEO CHAT WITH MY PROFESSORS??

 **Demeter** : HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK FROM HOME!?!?!?

 **Bombalurina <3**: Easy

 **Bombalurina <3**: There’s thousands of students in your exact position right now, Deme

 **Bombalurina <3**: The professors are just as confused as you are

 **Demeter** : THEY’D BETTER BE

 **Bombalurina <3**: Breathe

 **Demeter** : I HAVE NO EMAILS

 **Bombalurina <3**: Breathe, bitch.

 **Demeter** : I’m breathing

 **Bombalurina <3**: See that’s better isn’t it

 **Demeter** : No

 **Bombalurina <3**: None of my professors have emailed me either

 **Bombalurina <3**: They’re probably still trying to figure it out

→ Discord: The Band

**The Rum Tum Tugger** : Alright sluts

→ PM Bombalurina <3

**Bombalurina <3**: Oh fuck

 **Demeter** : What?

 **Bombalurina <3**: Band group chat

 **Demeter** : Oh no I forgot about the band!

 **Demeter** : My classes! My grades! Munkustrap’s show! The Band!

 **Demeter** : Everything is being ruined!

→ Discord: The Band

**The Rum Tum Tugger** : As predicted all our gigs are cancelled

 **The Rum Tum Tugger** : And we can’t really rehearse as a group anymore

 **The Rum Tum Tugger** : But I’m looking on the bright side! We have more time to write songs and work on our own stuff that’ll be good.

 **Pounci** : i havent stopp ed cryingg

 **Pounci** : im gonna miss yoy guys so much

 **Bombalu** : This’ll be good for us, every band needs a break every now and then

 **Pounci** : NOT THIS BAND!!!!

→ GroupMe: Cast Chat

**Munkustrap** : Check your emails, Pounce

 **Pouncival** : THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE

 **Munkustrap** : I’m sorry, guys, I wish there was something I could do

→ PM Demeter May

**Munkustrap** : How are you holding up?

 **Demeter May** : Not great, you?

 **Munkustrap** : Been better

 **Munkustrap** : Hey

 **Munkustrap** : We’re gonna be okay

→ GroupMe: Roommies!! <3 :D

**Vicky** : Okay

 **Vicky** : I can be moved out by tomorrow, if anyone needs to store anything at my place I can definitely do that

 **Cettie** : im coming up tomorrow for my stuff, are you there now?

 **Vicky** : Not right now

 **Jem** : im here :/

 **Cettie** : can you unplug my fridge?

 **Jem** : yeaaaahhhhh

 **Jem** : man i was having fun with you guyss

 **Jem** : i dont wanna go home ;-;

 **Cettie** : hey we’ll keep in touch!!

 **Electra** : you guys are rooming with me next year, right?

 **Vicky** : Of course!

 **Cettie** : YEAH

 **Jem** : mhm!!!

→ Discord: The Boys

**Munk** : Fuck

 **Lonz** : Yeah no kidding

 **Tug** : Literally was just thinking that

 **Jemima** : ;-; ;-; ;-;

 **Cori** : Can’t argue with that

 **Jerrie** : wow calm down dude

 **Misto** : blimey

 **Tug** : Language!

 **Munk** : In all seriousness though

 **Munk** : I really hate seeing everyone so upset

 **Misto** : its just the initial shock, i mean, we just need to find ways of keeping everyone in touch

 **Munk** : Yeah, you’re right

 **Lonz** : There are Zero Fucking Flights out to Spain??? I’m losing my goddamn mind???

 **Jerrie** : oh shit alonzo

 **Jerrie** : check the news

**\---CNN: Spain Closes its Borders Due to CoronaVirus Pandemic---**

**Lonz** : …

 **Lonz** : You know I was gonna be mad but I don’t even feel anything right now

 **Lonz** : I’ve fucking ascended past the state of being angry

 **Lonz** : I’m just numb now

 **Lonz** : I’ve lost my ability to feel

 **Misto** : im calling my dad were figuring this out hold tight alonzo

 **Tug** : Shit… I’m sorry

 **Cori** : You know I read a book that predicted a virus would happen in 2020 and no one would see it coming.

 **Cori** : That book also said that it would leave as quickly as it came, so I’m looking toward that positive in this dark time.

 **Jerrie** : i read a book that aliens would come in 2021 and we’d all get probed and one of us would be picked as the alien queen and would singlehandedly destory humanity with alien laser powers

 **Jerrie** : jk

 **Jerrie** : i dont know how to read

→ PM: Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

**Tugger** : When are you coming up?

 **Magical Mr. Mistoffelees** : tomorrow with vicky

 **Magical Mr. Mistoffelees** : but i can come any day i live right there

 **Tugger** : Ok, idk when Munk and I are coming yet

 **Magical Mr. Mistoffelee** s: ill be there when you do

 **Tugger** : Thank you

 **Magical Mr. Mistoffelees** : not missing out on any hugs thats for sure

 **Tugger** : Oh you’ll be getting a lifetime supply, bucko

 **Magical Mr. Mistoffelees** : pwomise??????? :3c

 **Tugger** : Leave your ribs at home baby

 **Magical Mr. Mistoffelees** : :O

 **Tugger** : I hope you like being suffocated

 **Magical Mr. Mistoffelees** : im partial to a little choking

 **Tugger** : Different kind of suffocated

 **Magical Mr. Mistoffelees** : babe

 **Magical Mr. Mistoffelees** : ive been binding for six years

 **Magical Mr. Mistoffelees** : fucking try me.

 **Tugger** : Oh it’s ON.

→ GroupMe: Cast Chat

**Munkustrap** : Okay, so it’s gonna be a little while until we all see each other again

 **Munkustrap** : But time flies, and this’ll all pass, and we’ll be back together in no time

 **Munkustrap** : So go home, relax, take some time off. We can all keep in touch pretty easily, and next semester we’ll be right back on ABOTPATP!

 **Mungojerrie** : i feel like im playing violin on the titanic

 **Tugger** : Fs in the chat?

 **Etcetera** : f

 **Alonzo** : F

 **Cassandra** : F

 **Rumpleteazer** : f

 **Bombalurina** : F

 **Mistoffelees** : f

 **Pouncival** : f

 **Coricopat** : F

 **Jemima** : f


	2. The Jellicles

YOUTUBE: xXeboyLonzXx - STUCK in the US because of CORONAVIRUS!?? (My friends live in a mansion!) (vlog)

“What’s up guys, it’s your boy Lonz, sorry this isn’t a full video, turns out I am officially stuck in the US due to Corona, and I mean literally, Spain closed its borders and there are no flights home. How am I feeling? I’m a little worried about my family but I’d rather be here than there, if that makes sense, I mean I’m a lot safer from the virus here than I would be in Spain. Plus, guess where I am!” - _Alonzo attempts to show everyone the room while also keeping his face in the frame_ \- “My epic friends Victoria and Mistoffelees are letting me stay with them until I can find a way home, so shout out to them! Oh, Mistoffelees is here right now, wave to the camera, Misto!” - _Alonzo moves the camera over to Mistoffelees, who’s wearing baggy pajamas and reading glasses. He makes the same face white people make to each other when they see each other on the street where they sorta smile but not really and waves at the camera. Then he goes back to his laptop_ \- “Guys a legend, oh, and here’s Victoria!” - _Alonzo throws his arm around Victoria who smiles and giggles at the camera_ -  
“Hi everyone!” - _She’s fixing her hair_ -  
“Now what these guys failed to mention when they offered to take me in was that they lived in a goddamn mansion!” - _Alonzo tries to show the camera the room they’re in_ -  
“Oh stop it, Lonz, it’s nowhere near a mansion. We just have some extra guest rooms that’s all,”  
“And two living rooms and a chandelier and the biggest fireplace I’ve ever seen AND a personal cook,” - _Victoria looks smugly at Alonzo, then ducks under his arm and wanders away, speaking as she’s walking_ -  
“Well if you don’t like it you can always go back to the hotel…” - _Alonzo looks back at the camera_ -  
“Ah, she’s messing around, gotta love her. Anyway, unfortunately that’s it for today, folks, I’ll try to get back to my regular video schedule soon, but for now wash your hands and stop hoarding fucking toilet paper. Lonz out.” - _The camera cuts off_ -

→ GroupMe: Cast Chat

**Tantomile** : Good morning everyone, I’m starting a little something I’ll be calling Motivational Monday where I share with you a happy story and a yoga pose to calm and relax the body during these stressful times. The first story is this video I found of a kitten being rescued to remind you that there are good people in the world doing good things.

 **Tantomile** : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoNqhPLiS-c

 **Tantomile** : And the first yoga pose I’ll be showing you is Child’s Pose. It is a gentle hip-opener that elongates and relaxes your spine. This is a good pose for everyone, but especially for women as we tend to carry a lot of our stress and anxiety in our hip and pelvic area, so stretching there can lower cortisol levels by a significant amount.

 **Tantomile** : -Image Description: Tantomile and Coricopat in child’s pose on their respective yoga mats-

 **Etcetera** : that kitten is so cute!!! im crying!!!!

 **Victoria** : Thank you, Tanto! I’d love to do more yoga with you; we should make a yoga group chat!

 **Mungojerrie** : hi everyone happy MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY this is a yoga pose i like to call dead cow :))))

 **Mungojerrie** : -Image Description: Rumpleteazer asleep half on the couch half on the floor surrounded by cheerios and an empty bowl on her face-

 **Pouncival** : oh my god, mango,, is she breathing?

 **Mungojerrie** : probably

→ PM: Deme :P

**Bombalurina** : How are your hips lmao

 **Deme :P** : What?

 **Bombalurina** : Tanto’s message in the cast chat

 **Deme :P** : Oh

 **Deme :P** : They’re wound up tighter than Tugger’s leather show pants but thanks for asking.

 **Bombalurina** : dfhjkdshgfdk

→ Discord: The Boys

**Munkustrap** : https://discord.gg/jEILiclE

→ Discord: New Server

→ Whoosh! **Munkustrap** just slid into the server.

→ Yay you made it, **Mistoffelees**!

 **Munkustrap** : Misto I’m giving you admin rights

 **Mistoffelees** : SAINT

 **Mistoffelees** : i love having power

→ **The Rum Tum Tugger** just landed.

→ **Coricopat** hopped on.

 **Tugger** : What’s this for?

 **Munkustrap** : Friends, didn’t want to leave the girls out

 **Munkustrap** : And I kind of hate using groupme

→ Welcome **Mungojerrie**. Say hi!

 **Mungojerrie** : hi!

 **Tugger** : Couldn’t we have just added everyone to the boys?

 **Mungojerrie** : tugger

 **Mungojerrie** : the boys is a sacred land

 **Mungojerrie** : no girls allowed

→ **Jemima** just showed up!

 **Mungojerrie** : one girl allowed

 **Jemima** : OwO

→ Glad you’re here, **Bombalurina**.

→ **Pouncival** just hopped on.

→ Welcome **Victoria**!

→ **Alonzo** has arrived.

→ **Demeter** just showed up!

→ Never fear, **Plato** ’s here!

→ **Etcetera** slid into the server!

 **Munkustrap** : Okay what am I naming the server

 **Bombalurina** : Hold on, “the boys”?

 **Mungojerrie** : needs to be something apocalyptic

 **Mungojerrie** : OH

 **Mungojerrie** : THE MAZE

 **Munkustrap** : What?

 **Mungojerrie** : all those fallout movies have a really dramatic title

 **Mungojerrie** : the maze

 **Mungojerrie** : the bird

 **Mungojerrie** : the games

 **Mungojerrie** : THE END

 **Jemima** : THE TRAIN!!

 **Mungojerrie** : THE REFUGE

 **Bombalurina** : Do you guys seriously have a server without us?

 **Tugger** : It’s serious business, okay? You wouldn’t understand the complexities of the type of shit we get up to in there.

→ Discord: The Boys

**Mungojerrie** : if i take a caffeine pill and a melatonin pill at the same time do they cancel out?

 **Munkustrap** : For the love of God, do not do that.

→ Discord: New Server

**Tugger** : Some real seriously tightly-monitored classified shit, Bombalu.

 **Munkustrap** : For real though, server name

 **Mistoffelees** : what about the name of our acting troupe??

 **Munkustrap** : Everyone good with naming it Jellicles?

 **Mungojerrie** : THE jellicles

 **Munkustrap** : Okay fine, The Jellicles it is

 **Pouncival** : thats kind of a dumb name for an acting troupe honestly

 **Pouncival** : the fuck is a jellicle anyway

 **Munkustrap** : Pouncival, I’m

 **Munkustrap** : And I don’t use this terminology loosely

 **Munkustrap** : Going to actually kick your ass.

→ Discord: The Girls <3

→ **Bombalurina** just landed.

→ Everyone welcome **Demeter**!

 **Bombalurina** : Fuck THEM if they can think they can have a server without us

 **Demeter** : Rina are you for real?

→ Yay you made it, **Victoria**!

 **Victoria** : This is going to be so nice!!!

 **Victoria** : Ooo! Can you make a yoga topic for me and Tanto when she gets here?

 **Bombalurina** : Absolutely

→ **Cassandra** joined the party

 **Cassandra** : Why do I have a billion notifications?

 **Bombalurina** : Oh the party hasn’t even started yet.


	3. Shooting my Shot

→ Discord: The Boys

**Lonz:** Alright lads

 **Lonz:** I’m finally doing it

 **Tug:** Wow I didn't think you had the gall 

**Pounci:** please you have so much to live for ;-;

 **Lonz:** What the fuck?

 **Lonz:** I’m not talking about that

 **Pounci:** oh

 **Pounci:** what are you talking about?

 **Lonz:** I’m shooting my shot with Cassandra

 **Pounci:** PLEASE YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR D:

 **Munk:** But you’re not going to see her for months

 **Lonz:** Exactly

 **Munk:** What’s your ideal end result here?

 **Lonz:** Listen, it’s the perfect plan

 **Lonz:** I shoot my shot now and if she’s down then we all know what that means

 **Lonz:** And if she’s not down then she has the rest of the quarantine to forget I ever asked

 **Tug:** Sorry for dipping for a second there I was too busy LAUGHING my ass off

 **Lonz:** See? I’ve thought it all through

 **Jemima:** I think you should do it!

 **Lonz:** Thanks, Jemima

 **Tug:** You know what?

 **Tug:** Good for you

 **Tug:** Let us know how it goes

 **Lonz:** Oh I will.

→ PM: Cassandra

**Alonzo:** What’s up, cutie? 😙

 **Alonzo:** You got a quarantine buddy yet? 😉😉

 **Cassandra:** Tantomile sang me to sleep last night over facetime so you’re going to have to try harder than that.

→ Discord: The Boys

**Lonz:** I’ve never been so humiliated in my life.

 **Tug:** Went well then?

→ Discord: The Girls <3

**Cassandra:** You would not believe Alonzo’s audacity

 **Jemima:** omg what happened??? :o

 **Cassandra:** -Image Description: Screenshot of Alonzo and Cassandra’s very short conversation- 

**Bombalurina:** What a loser

→ Discord: The Boys

**Pounci:** what did she say????

 **Jemima:** -Image Description: Screenshot of screenshot of Alonzo and Cassandra’s very short conversation-

 **Lonz:** DID SHE SEND THAT TO YOU?

 **Jemima:** nah, she sent that to the girls discord!

 **Tug:** I’m pissing my pants at this

 **Lonz:** SINCE WHEN DID YOU GUYS HAVE A DISCORD???

 **Jemima:** bomba made it like a few days ago :3

 **Tug:** Wait wait so let me get this straight

 **Tug:** Bombalu makes a discord for the girls

 **Tug:** And the FIRST thing they do

 **Tug** : Is fucking make fun of you

 **Tug:** God my abs hurt from laughing

→ Minecraft 

[12:44] <mangocherry> ahahaa  
[12:44] <mangocherry> gaaayyyy  
[12:45] <mangocherry> ur gay  
[12:45] <mangocherry> aha  
[12:45] mangocherry was shot by a skeleton

→ Discord: The Band

**The Rum Tum Tugger:** Good news guys

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** @everyone I had a GOD TIER idea

 **Demeter:** I’m all ears

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** I downloaded some audio editing software I’m gonna learn how to use it

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** If we all record our parts I can edit them together

 **Tumble:** one problem

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** What

 **Tumble:** my electric guitar broke

 **Tumble:** ive been really upset about it actually

 **Tumble:** but all i have is my acoustic

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** Okay I can work with that

 **Pounci:** sorry to hear about your guitar :((

 **Tumble:** thanks pounce

 **Bombalu:** Tugger, babe

 **Bombalu:** Have you ever edited audio before?

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** No but I have plenty of time on my hands so I’ll learn

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** How hard can it be

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** I mean really

\--- March 29, 2020 ---

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** I’m giving up

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** We’re all off tempo

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** Pouncival sounds like he had his nextdoor neighbor record it for him from outside his house

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** And when I bring the gain up it sounds like someone’s fucking chompin on the microphone

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** To top it off audacity keeps crashing 

**The Rum Tum Tugger:** I need a moment.

 **Tumble:** damn im still sorry about the guitar :/

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** Actually the acoustic sounded fine

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** But seriously @Pounci did you hit record, throw your phone in your laundry basket, throw your laundry basket out the window, and THEN start drumming?

 **Pounci:** :(

 **The Rum Tum Tugger:** I’m losing my mind.


	4. Then Perish

→ PM: Terrible Bore <3 

**Mistoffelees** : 

**Mistoffelees** : us

 **Terrible Bore <3**: I'm the little spoon

 **Mistoffelees** : in this picture yeah

 **Terrible Bore <3**: 

**Terrible Bore <3**: That's me

 **Terrible Bore <3**: I'm giving you a flower

 **Mistoffelees** : oh shit thank you i love it

 **Terrible Bore <3**: You're welcome

 **Terrible Bore <3**: I know you love the uh

 **Terrible Bore <3**: Purple kind

 **Mistoffelees** : 

**Mistoffelees** : ahaa what if we kissed

 **Mistoffelees** : and we were snails 

**Mistoffelees** : ahaa jk...

→Discord: The Jellicles 

**Coricopat** : Good afternoon, everyone

 **Coricopat** : How are you all feeling today?

 **Plato** : Well this morning I tried to eat an apple, but every time I took a bite my jaw would click, and uh

 **Plato** : I don’t care for that shit at all

 **Plato** : So not great

 **Jemima** : @Etcetera THIS showed up on my for you page!!!!!

 **Jemima** : tiktok.com/cettiekitty12

  
  
  


→ Tik Tok - CettieKitty12 

- _Etcetera fumbles to set the camera down on something. She steps back, looking at the camera angrily_ \- “Can SOMEONE please _EXPLAIN_ to me” - _There is a pause where she scrunches up her nose-_ “Why I am wiping my ass” - _She holds up a roll of paper towels_ \- “with BOUNTY PAPER TOWELS?? **BOUNTY PAPER TOWELS!!!!** ” - _She throws the paper towel roll at the camera and the video cuts off-_

  
  
  


→ Discord: The Jellicles 

**Etcetera** : we checked EVERY store in like a fifty mile radius and there is NO TOILET PAPER!!!

 **Electra** : have you tried

 **Electra** : and hear me out

 **Electra** : shitting in the yard and then spraying yourself down with a hose

 **Etcetera** : you know it didnt come to mind

 **Etcetera** : Thanks. 

  
  
  


→ PM: Munkystrap 

**Demeter** : Hey can you facetime tonight?

 **Munkystrap** : Of course I can

 **Munkystrap** : I’m glad you asked

 **Demeter** : Ah!

 **Demeter** : I’m glad you’re glad

 **Demeter** : For some reason I thought you’d be busy

 **Munkystrap** : Never too busy for you

 **Demeter** : How are you and Tugger and Old Deut holding up anyway?

 **Munkystrap** : Feels like those high school summers again, except we have online classes to sign into every now and then… And we’re older and less stupid for the most part. I’ll be honest I thought Tugger’s sleep schedule would’ve gone out the window by now but he’s actually going to bed and getting up at a reasonable time, which is a little out of character I guess

 **Munkystrap** : My dad’s been making bread every day, I keep trying to warn him that literally everyone makes bread in the apocalypse, and that he’s going to run out of yeast because everyone’s buying yeast now

 **Munkystrap** : He’s been ignoring it though, just waving me off with a smile on his face. I don’t think he likes teaching philosophy online.

 **Demeter** : Oh, poor soul, I bet not. 

**Demeter** : I never took his class but you and Rina liked it, right?

 **Munkystrap** : Oh Rina and I loved it, Cori took it too

 **Munkystrap** : Dad’s been trying to convince Tugger to take it but I don’t think he’s gonna

 **Munkystrap** : How’s lockdown life for you?

 **Demeter** : I can’t imagine he’d want to

 **Demeter** : And

 **Demeter** : Dull

 **Munkystrap** : Yeah?

 **Demeter** : Yeah

 **Demeter** : My parents do their work calls from opposite sides of the house with the office doors closed all day and I do my classes, then we have dinner and sometimes watch a movie.

 **Demeter** : I’ve been playing piano a lot to pass the time

 **Demeter** : I have to admit, though, these group chats have been a fun distraction, the cast cracks me up

 **Demeter** : I get a little jealous though, sometimes

 **Munkystrap** : What do you mean?

 **Demeter** : Well you’ve got Tugger, and Jerrie has Teazer, and I keep seeing videos of Alonzo, Vicky, and Misto doing tik tok dances

 **Demeter** : It’s so funny, before I met you guys I was so content with being alone, like I could entertain myself and not have to talk to many people

 **Demeter** : But I think I changed 

**Munkystrap** : You’ve definitely changed since I first met you

 **Demeter** : Don’t even go there!

 **Munkystrap** : Okay okay okay I wasn’t gonna!

 **Demeter** : :P

 **Munkystrap** : I mean, it doesn’t matter

 **Munkystrap** : People change, always

 **Munkystrap** : Just as long as you’re happy with the way you change, then it doesn’t matter at all

 **Demeter** : Yeah…

 **Munkystrap** : So

 **Munkystrap** : Are you happy, Deme?

 **Demeter** : Yeah 

**Demeter** : I am

→ Discord: The Jellicles 

→ **Mr Obama [BOT]** just arrived

 **Mistoffelees** : oh yes

 **Mistoffelees** : id do anything for you, mr obama

 **Mr Obama [BOT]** : Then perish.

 **Mistoffelees** : :D

  
→ Group Chat: Tugger, Alonzo, Bombalurina

**Alonzo:** Guys I s2g

 **Alonzo** : I gotta talk to someone about this

 **Bombalurina** : Oh God what did you do

 **Alonzo** : No no no not that

 **Tugger** : What's poppin, eboy?

 **Alonzo** : Misto and Vicky are rich 

**Bombalurina** : Oh we been knew, those guys are private school kids through and through

 **Tugger** : Yeah we watched your vlog man

 **Alonzo** : No I don’t think you understand, these guys are RICH rich, Mr. Jones is OBSESSED with the twins

 **Alonzo** : He has full length professional paintings of them as children, like 7 or 8, in their little rich kid clothes on the wall. 

**Bombalurina** : Actual paintings? Not just photos????

 **Alonzo** : Let me rephrase that, I’m not talking about paintings that were then framed and hung on the wall, motherfuckers straight PAINTED LITTLE VICTORIA AND MISTOFFELEES DIRECTLY ONTO THE WALL.

 **Bombalurina** : You’re joking

 **Tugger** : NO WAY

 **Alonzo** : Just slapped their little asses up there next to the marble pillars

 **Bombalurina** : That’s genius

 **Bombalurina** : I’m doing that

 **Bombalurina** : Not with my future kids, with myself

 **Bombalurina** : When I’m rich I’m going to get myself professionally painted directly onto my wall like a goddamn mural. 

**Alonzo** : And it’s not just that, there are pictures of them everywhere

 **Alonzo** : Whole ass photo collages up the stairs

 **Alonzo** : I can barely vlog without having a framed photo of Victoria standing next to her seventh grade science project with a 2nd place ribbon pinned to her private school uniform in the background

 **Alonzo** : There’s a hallway upstairs dedicated to Mistoffelees’ theatre days, starting from pictures of him as a kid in Oliver Twist all the way up to the magic show he did last semester

 **Alonzo** : Their graduation photos are above the fireplace and they’re HUGE

 **Alonzo** : Mr. Jones saw me staring and laughed, saying that the space above those photos are reserved for the college graduation photos

 **Alonzo** : He's so obsessed with food too, they have a personal cook

 **Alonzo** : And the best part? They swept me in like I'm part of the family

 **Alonzo** : I am living like a goddamn king

 **Tugger** : Holy shit

 **Bombalurina** : The dream

 **Bombalurina** : THE DREAM!!!

 **Tugger** : I never thought there'd be a day where I was jealous of you, but fuck, I guess being stuck with my boyfriend in his mansion takes the cake

 **Bombalurina** : Tugger, did you know about this?

 **Tugger** : I mean, Misto talks about his dad every now and then

 **Tugger:** I think out of respect for other people him and Vicky play it down but

 **Tugger** : All I know is that his dad's got plenty of money, he loves art, food, and parties, he’s single and gay, he adopted M and V when they were babies and he hasn’t stopped talking about it since

 **Bombalurina** : Ugh, KING

 **Tugger** : Let’s be honest though if you had those guys for kids you wouldn’t shut up either

 **Tugger** : I mean Mistoffelees, as you both know, is the most perfect person any of us have ever actually met ever so there’s that 

**Tugger** : And Victoria’s the sweetest

 **Bombalurina** : Keep talking about your boyfriend, Tugger, don’t worry, it never gets old :)

 **Alonzo** : Victoria IS the sweetest, I have honestly loved hanging out with her so much

 **Alonzo** : Don’t tell her I said that

 **Tugger** : Oh oh, go ahead, say that again, Bombalu, maybe it’ll be funny next time

 **Bombalurina** : Well I'm glad someone's having fun in this mess


	5. Phylogenies review quiz

→ Discord: The Jellicles

**Pouncival** : just made chicken alfredo

**Pouncival** : and by that i mean i got a jar of store bought alfredo and heated up on the stove

**Bombalurina** : Where’d you get the chicken

**Pouncival** : im the chicken

**Jemima** : oh i love chicken alfredo!

**Jemima** : what kind of pasta are you using?

**Pouncival** : ummm… 

**Pouncival** : why would i use pasta lol

**Jemima** : because.. its chicken alfredo

**Pouncival** : yeah?

**Jemima** : you put that on pasta

**Pouncival** : nice try, jemima, but im not falling for that 

**Tumblebrutus** : pounce are you really eating alfredo sauce like soup right now

**Pouncival** : um yeah, tumble, i AM eating my soup like soup tf

**Pouncival** : chicken alfredo is a type of soup, what alt universe have you guys been living in?

**Tumblebrutus** : wow, do you have any idea how angry that sentence just made me feel?

**Bombalurina** : For fucks sake

**Demeter** : I’m leaving the chat

  
  
  


→ BIO201 Group Chat

**\--2:33PM--**

**Plato** : Hey does anyone know when the phylogenies review quiz is due?

**\--11:46PM--**

**Plato** : Thanks guys, knew I could count on you

  
  
  


→ DM: Deme <3

**Bombalurina** : I can’t believe your parents made you hang up

**Deme <3** : Oh come on we were on the phone for five hours

**Bombalurina** : And we only just started talking about which of our friends we’d cast in our amateur production of POTO

**Deme <3** : I think we both know Tumble’s the only one who can really hit those notes when it comes to the phantom

**Bombalurina** : I think you’re underestimating Alonzo’s ability to be a total fucking simp

**Deme <3** : Excellent point.

**Deme <3** : Christine?

**Bombalurina** : Victoria

**Deme <3** : Really?

**Bombalurina** : No question

**Bombalurina** : And those gay dudes that bought the theatre in the first place are definitely Tugger and Mistoffelees

**Deme <3** : Oh stop

**Bombalurina** : I’m right

**Deme <3** : Okay, Meg

**Bombalurina** : Meg Giry has more anxiety than any character I’ve ever seen before in my life

**Bombalurina** : She’s also adorable

**Bombalurina** : You

**Deme <3** : Fjfjfjfhkfdh

**Deme <3** : Nooo!

**Bombalurina** : Nah you’re right, you’re cuter

**Bombalurina** : Rumpleteazer then

**Deme <3** : Plato’s probably Raul 

**Bombalurina** : That seems fitting

**Bombalurina** : What’s next on our to do list?

**Deme <3** : Hold on, Cassandra’s messaging the discord

  
  


→ Discord: The Girls <3

**Cassandra** : I was thinking of shaving my head

**Bombalurina** : Bold choice, I dig it

**Demeter** : It’s not just because you’re going stir crazy is it?

**Cassandra** : I mean I had considered the drama of it but it’s mostly for aesthetics

**Tantomile** : Will this choice satisfy your inner lust for tranquility?

**Cassandra** : Excuse me?

**Tantomile** : Do you vibe with the idea?

**Cassandra** : Oh

**Cassandra** : Yeah

**Tantomile** : Then that’s all that matters

**Bombalurina** : Send pictures!

**Rumpleteazer** : you should film it and turn it into a tik tok!!!

**Cassandra** : Just what do I look like to you?

  
  
  


→ Discord: The Jellicles

→  **Grizabella** just joined! Say hi!

**Grizabella** : Hey everyone!

**Grizabella** : What’s crackalackin?

**Mungojerrie** : AAAAAAAA

**Alonzo** : oh FUCK no

**Bombalurina** : How the hell did you get in here!?

**Pouncival** : NOOONONONOOONONO

**Demeter** : How dare you.

**Cassandra** : Just who the FUCK do you think you are. Huh?

**Mistoffelees** : 🅱️egone thot

**Plato** : GET OUTTA HERE.

**Rumpleteazer** : 🤢🤢🤢

**Tugger** : votekick grizabella

**Munkustrap** : Don’t worry guys I banned her

**Cassandra** : Oh thank god

**Bombalurina** : My hero

**Mistoffelees** : That was a close one

  
  


→ DM: Bombalurina

**Pouncival** : you up?

**Bombalurina** : No

**Pouncival** : oh ok, sleep well then

  
  
  


→ Discord: The Boys

**Lonz** : For fucks sake Jemima

**Tug** : Did you kick his ass at league again

**Jemima** : Nope

**Lonz** : Mancala

**Jemima** : mancala!!

**Tug** : How the fuck are you guys playing mancala

**Pounci** : what the fuck is mancala

**Jerrie** : thats what i said to Cori when that swedish transfer student gave him her phone number

**Cori** : Turns out it was just a line that played All Star the moment you called it

**Tug** : Ohmygodsendmethenumber

**Jemima** : we were playing on club penguin!!!

**Cori** : It’s 830-476-5664

**Lonz** : It was pure luck

**Lonz** : You don’t actually have a strategy, no one does, it’s fucking mancala

**Lonz** : No one knows how to play mancala

**Jemima** : what? 

**Jemima** : what was that? Huh?

**Jemima** : sorry?

**Lonz** : Stop

**Jemima** : come again?

**Lonz** : Don’t you dare

**Jemima** : gosh, alonzo, you know i cant understand you with all those toes in your mouth

**Lonz** : I DO NOT SUCK TOES

**Jemima** : idk umm sounds like something a toe sucker would say

**Lonz** : IVE NEVER SUCKED A TOE IN MY LIFE

**Tug** : Why not?? 🥴

**Jemima** : Calm down man it’s not even that weird anymore

**Lonz** : I DO NOT SUCK TOES

**Lonz** : FUCK 

**Jemima** : i mean i get that i beat you seven times at mancala but theres no need to yell at me

**Lonz** : FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

  
  
  


→ DM: Terrible Bore <3 (WARNING: NSFW)

**Mistoffelees** : whats up baby, daddy long dick just redownloaded skyrim

**Terrible Bore <3** : Ah

**Terrible Bore <3** : You’re becoming a man

**Mistoffelees** : are you thirsting after toes in the chat rn?

**Terrible Bore <3** : What can I say

**Mistoffelees** : well, a few things

**Mistoffelees** : starting with nothing

**Terrible Bore <3** : No can do

**Terrible Bore <3** : I can’t unsuck your toes, babe

**Mistoffelees** : you cant unbreak my heart either

**Terrible Bore <3** : It’s not my fault they’re so damn sexy

**Mistoffelees** : listen, you know what im mad about?

**Terrible Bore <3** : Oh shit I’ll stop if you want me to

**Mistoffelees** : no

**Mistoffelees** : you know why im mad?

**Mistoffelees** : im mad because you sucked my toes as a meme and now youre into feet

**Mistoffelees** : why would you do that to us?

**Terrible Bore <3** : Haha yeah that was a meme

**Terrible Bore <3** : Hahaha

**Mistoffelees** : i cant even tell anyone

**Mistoffelees** : i cant get this off my chest

**Terrible Bore <3** : Are you going to kill me over it?

**Mistoffelees** : i think the fact that you have to live with yourself is probably punishment enough

**Terrible Bore <3** : You might be right but I do have very little shame

**Mistoffelees** : im going to go to bed…… so i can stop thinking about you thinking about my feet

**Terrible Bore <3** : If it’s any consolation I’m actually thinking about your torso right now

**Mistoffelees** : my torso?

**Terrible Bore <3** : Specifically the night after the script read through when you walked home with me and we stopped in that little courtyard area between the engineering buildings, when you played that movie score on your phone and we slowdanced and i dipped you

**Terrible Bore <3** : Thinking about my arm around your torso, just that second where I had you and you put your trust in me not to let you thwap on the ground like a sack of flower

**Mistoffelees** : ill always trust you not to thwap me on the ground like a sack of flower

**Terrible Bore <3** : Well I’m glad

**Terrible Bore <3** : Can you send me the song you played?

**Mistoffelees** : of course

**Terrible Bore <3** : I think I’ll fall asleep to it tonight

**Mistoffelees** : i wish i could hold you

**Terrible Bore <3** : Me too, firecracker

**Terrible Bore <3** : More than you know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The All Star phone number is real but its an American number so probably don't call it on an international phone
> 
> Also feel free to bully me on my decision to make tugger into feet but you cannot tell me that 2019 tugger wasnt tryna get in on victorias toes send tweet


	6. The Mug Aesthetic

The Jones Household

“That’s not what I’m saying.” Mistoffelees held the phone between his ear and his shoulder while he sprayed a mountain of whipped cream onto his mugged beverage. “I’m saying that if Munk wants to rewrite the last three scenes of the show, he should at least let us do our pull a peke out of a hat bit.”

Alonzo slinkied into the kitchen and stood a few feet away from Mistoffelees like a kid who’s waiting for their mother to get off the phone so they can ask if they can have extra fruit gummies. Every time Misto glanced at Alonzo he would try to mouth the question, “who are you talking to?” Getting a little louder every time until Misto finally answered.

“Cassandra,” he said, picking up the mug and starting to walk away.

“Is that Alonzo?” Mistoffelees heard through the speaker.

“Yeah, it is. Anyway, as I was saying, during the scene where Rumpus Cat is looking for-”

“Oh my God.” Alonzo leaned over to yell into the phone. “Hi Cassandra!”

“Alonzo, please.” Mistoffelees pushed him away with his elbow and took a sip of his drink, leaving a whipped cream mustache on his face. “I’m trying to have an important conversation.”

“Whatever, man, tell her to call me later. Also, is that hot chocolate?”

“No, it’s water.” He licked the whipped cream off his upper lip. “I just like the mug aesthetic.” He then wandered upstairs, going back to his conversation with Cassandra. Alonzo was left to stand there speechless.

  
  
  


→ Group Chat: Demeter, Munkustrap, Bombalurina

**Munkustrap** : Okay I shared the new script with you both

**Bombalurina** : Oh? New script for what?

**Demeter** : He’s rewriting pekes and pols

**Bombalurina** : AGAIN

**Bombalurina** : We literally are over halfway through the show

**Munkustrap** : Relax, only the last three scenes

**Bombalurina** : What’s wrong with them?

**Demeter** : Nothing’s wrong with them

**Munkustrap** : It’s not that they’re bad!!!

**Munkustrap** : I just have a lot of time on my hands, so I can make them better!

**Demeter** : I keep telling him he’s going to drive himself up a wall if he keeps going back on it

**Demeter** : And to think I thought we’d be able to settle with the eighth rewrite huh

**Munkustrap** : Seventh

**Munkustrap** : That was the SEVENth rewrite

**Munkustrap** : This… Is the eighth rewrite

**Bombalurina** : God you’re not writing in the pull the peke out of the hat bit are you

**Munkustrap** : Literally not a chance

**Bombalurina** : Thank you

  
  
  


→ DM: Victoria!

**Rumpleteazer** : i had an idea!!!!

**Victoria!** : im all for it!!!!!!!

**Rumpleteazer** : you dont even know what it is yet :P ;P

**Victoria!** : oh, right

**Victoria!** : what is it??

**Rumpleteazer** : okay okay i found my old roller skates in my basement and they kind of fit and i have a driveway so i was thinkinnng maybe maybe okay hear me out

**Rumpleteazer** : what if we learned how to roller skate and then we could roller skate together on campus 🥺

**Rumpleteazer** : 👉👈

**Victoria** : OMG

**Victoria** : that would be so cool!!!!!

**Rumpleteazer** : YOU THINK SO??? :D

**Victoria** : YES!!!!

**Victoria** : i dont think i have skates but ive always wanted to try it so i could get some

**Rumpleteazer** : itd be so fun!

**Victoria** : oh!!! maybe the others would want to learn too!!!!

**Rumpleteazer** : i meeean i guess sur sure good point maybe

**Rumpleteazer** : butt no sweat if its just us right??

**Victoria** : oh no itll be fun no matter what!

**Rumpleteazer** : :D :D :D

  
  
  


→ Discord: The Jellicles

**Mistoffelees** : @everyone im gonna be doing dance tutorials live on instagram in an hour and youd better be there!!!!

**Pouncival** : yeeeeessir

**Jemima** : yessir!

**Etcetera** : ye sirrr

**Mungojerrrie** : yepsss irrrrr!!!

  
  
  


→ DM: Teazer <3

**Victoria** : white or light pink do you think????

**Teazer <3** : hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**Teazer <3** : youd really suite both!!!!

**Teazer <3** : white might go with more outfits i guess?

**Teazer <3** : but pink is such a YOU color!!

**Victoria** : points were made! maybe ill take the vote to mistoffelees and alonzo

**Victoria** : what color do you have

**Teazer <3** : orange ;))

**Victoria** : i couldve guessed :P

  
  
  


→ Group Chat: Demeter, Munkustrap, Bombalurina

**Munkustrap** : Be honest

**Munkustrap** : Is the ballad too much?

**Demeter** : I mean

**Bombalurina** : Yes.

**Munkustrap** : I spent weeks on it, Rina

**Demeter** : I don’t think it’s too much, I think you just have to put it into context of the show we’re doing

**Bombalurina** : Yeah in context of the show and the actors who are doing the show dude

**Demeter** : I think maybe you should just think about your goal

**Demeter** : I mean if you have two pollicles singing about their love together as they die on the battlefield, what is it you want the audience to take away from that?

**Munkustrap** : I want to highlight the tragedies of war

**Bombalurina** : You’re highlighting the tragedies of going stir crazy that’s for sure

**Munkustrap** : You can kill and fight all you want but those are *people*, you know?

**Munkustrap** : And by making the Great Rumpus Cat less of a person and more fear inducing, I can symbolize the horrors of warfare

**Bombalurina** : Mhm the endless horrors of the Deuteronomy household under quarantine

**Demeter** : Okay

**Demeter** : So you have a clear goal

**Munkustrap** : Yes

**Demeter** : Then I don’t think it would be too much to add the ballad I guess

**Bombalurina** : But maybe rethink giving it to Mungojerrie and Electra

**Demeter** : Hey Munk, why are you changing it anyway?

**Demeter** : Everyone loves it the way it is

**Munkustrap** : I just have so much time on my hands, I’m not sure what else to do

**Bombalurina** : Maybe…. You can write something new?

**Munkustrap** : ...

**Munkustrap** : I don’t follow

**Bombalurina** : You could write something else? The battle of the pekes and pollicles is pretty good as it is, why not start a new project?

**Munkustrap** : What else would I even write?

**Bombalurina** : That’s up to you man

**Demeter** : I think Rina’s right on this one

**Munkustrap** : Do I keep the ballad?

**Bombalurina** : No

**Demeter** : Sure!

**Bombalurina** : Okay fine, why not

  
  
  


→ DM: Magical Mr Mistoffelees

**Tugger** : Babycakes

**Tugger** : Darling, sweet, stunning, beautiful boy of mine

**Tugger** : My most adorable kitten of a thing, you

**Tugger** : Most delectable chocolate vanilla swirl of a man

**Tugger** : Hand-whipped cream and cherries

**Tugger** : A popcorn bag with no leftover kernels

**Tugger** : The window cleaner that leaves no streaks behind

**Tugger** : My sweet bath and bodyworks warm vanilla glitter mist

**Mistoffelees** : whats up

**Tugger** : I actually want to talk to you about something

**Mistoffelees** : oh, of course!!!

**Mistoffelees** : want me to call you?

**Tugger** : Actually if it’s okay I think I might be more comfortable saying it over text?

**Tugger** : I’m not really sure yet I just know I wouldn’t want to talk to anyone but you about it

**Mistoffelees** : well you have all my attention

**Mistoffelees** : is everything okay?

**Tugger** : Yes

**Tugger** : No

**Tugger** : I think

**Tugger** : Okay I’m really not sure how to phrase this

**Tugger** : And I know you wont have any problem with it at all, fuck, you’re proably going to be happy, but for some reason I’m still nervous 

**Mistoffelees** : hey...

**Mistoffelees** : this seems really big

**Mistoffelees** : and while im amazingly curious right now i also dont want you to push yourself to tell me if youre not ready, my love

**Tugger** : Nope! I’m totally ready

**Tugger** : Been prepping for this all day and god damn it I will do it

**Tugger** : Mistoffelees, my angel my muse my motivation LOVE of my LIFE

**Tugger** : I’ve had a lot of time for a lot of self reflection here

**Tugger** : And I know I’ve been ignoring these thoughts for, well, years but

**Tugger** : I think I’m non-binary

**Mistoffelees** : :O

**Mistoffelees** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Mistoffelees** : TUGGER!!!!!!!!!!!

**Mistoffelees** : you ASSHOLE you had me worried!!!!!!!

**Mistoffelees** : THIS IS HUGE!!!

**Tugger** : God you’re not mad at me for not saying anything sooner are you?

**Mistoffelees** : pfffft of course not but i am so honored and ecstatic that you could tell me in the first place!!!!!

**Mistoffelees** : dont think id ever be mad about something like that silly goose

**Tugger** : Okay okay I was just checking 

**Tugger** : I could really tell you anything, Misto

**Mistoffelees** : eeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEE

**Mistoffelees** : IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!

**Mistoffelees** : and goes without saying but the secret is safe with me

**Tugger** : Oh I’m not worried about that

**Tugger** : I guess I’m just

**Tugger** : Aaaaa

**Tugger** : It’s really confusing

**Mistoffelees** : oh it is, especially when you havent talked to anyone about it yet

**Mistoffelees** : but talk it out with me!

**Tugger** : I hope you’re free all night then

**Mistoffelees** : pfft even if i had plans theyd be canceled by now

**Tugger** : You’re a perfect entity

**Mistoffelees** : never a flaw on you

**Mistoffelees** : so what are you thinking then exactly? non-binary sounds right?

**Tugger** : Not really... But to be honest I don’t feel like there’s a word for what I feel like

**Tugger** : Because, well okay

**Tugger** : It’s the age old question right, are you a boy or a girl?

**Tugger** : And the answer is no

**Tugger** : But I don’t feel like that

**Tugger** : I’m more like… Are you a boy or a girl?

**Tugger** : And the answer is yes

**Mistoffelees** : i hope you know my cheeks hurt from all this smiling youre making me do

**Tugger** : Well I’ll kiss them better when I see you

**Tugger** : And I did research, you know?

**Tugger** : I even joined a discord server for gender nonconforming people but that was a bit much

**Tugger** : I think secretly everyone’s just as confused as I am

**Tugger** : It’s easier to ignore when your head is full of other things, but since I’ve been home all I can think about is you anyway, and, well, who better to talk to about it than you?

**Mistoffelees** : you hit the nail on the head there, i mean, everyone is very confused all the time i can guarantee you

**Tugger** : I think if I think about it too hard I get a bit overwhelmed

**Tugger** : But I suppose it just boils down to

**Tugger** : Heels and lipstick make me feel good

**Tugger** : Being your big spoon makes me feel over the moon

**Tugger** : And every now and then when you call me “lady” as like a joke or something, like when I say something dumb and you go “okaaay lady!” in that cute little voice of yours

**Tugger** : That makes me really really happy

**Mistoffelees** : okay lady <3

**Tugger** : You make me ridiculously happy in general but yeah, that

**Mistoffelees** : jkksdjkhgfkdhsgjkhdfkjhjdhgjsghfjdhlgjkfdhsgkdf

**Tugger** : Well said

**Mistoffelees** : hey listen you just let me know whatever you wanna do, who were telling if were telling at all, if theres any pronoun changes or name changes or ANYTHING whatever makes you comfortable 

**Mistoffelees** : and seriously, SERIOUSLY, i mean this suuuuper duper seriously are you listening???

**Tugger** : Yes yes I am

**Tugger** : And thank you...

**Mistoffelees** : thank you for telling me

**Mistoffelees** : i love you so much

**Tugger** : I love you too, magic man


	7. Fattest Ass in Marching Band

→ Discord: The Jellicles

**Plato** : Do you guys ever go to wash your hands youre about to get like a goood hand wash in but the moment you get the soap on there your fucking nose starts itching and then you gotta rush what was gonna be a real nice hand wash to itch your nose?

**Plato** : Because i tell you its my personal hell

  
  
  


→ DM: Rum Tum Tingo Bingo Boy

**Bombalurina** : Oi

**Bombalurina** : I need the number of that lady who owns the venue that cancelled our gig, finance stuff, big brain things, send please.

**Tugger** :  830-476-5664

**Bombalurina** : I’m going to sever your head

  
  
  


The Notorious Coach Car by  LottaLocoTeazer

Starlight Express - Philips/Stilgoe/Webber

**Major Character Death** , Pearl (Starlight Express)/OC, Pearl (Starlight Express), Buffy (Starlight Express), Dinah (Starlight Express), Ashely (Starlight Express), Rusty (Starlight Express), CB (Starlight Express), Greaseball (Starlight Express), Electra (Starlight Express), Electra JR (OC, Electra that’s you!!), and probably others idk, language warning, nsfw, OC, but dont worry shes cute and not annoying, fluff, angst, anthropomorphic characters, Light BDSM, Lesbians, WLW, Arson, im bad at tagging, i dont own any of these characters, except trixie

The fun and mischievous coach car, Trixie, just moved in when she meets a pretty first class car named Pearl. After finding out that Pearl is the most lusted after coach in the lot, Trixie has to prove herself in order to win her heart. Readers be aware as adventure awaits around every corner!

Haters do NOT interact.

Language: English Words: 1,407 Chapters: 8/? Kudos: 1 Hits: 3

  
  
  


→ DM: Demeter

**Macavity** : Evening, my dearest.

**Macavity** : How’s your quarantine going without me?

**Macavity** : Heh hem. I am speaking to you, thot.

  
  
  


→ GroupMe: Roommies!! <3 :D

**Jemima** : serious question

**Jemima** : do you think alonzo gets as much as he says?

**Victoria** : JEM!

**Electra** : absolutely not

**Electra** : hes full of shit

**Jemima** : damn you think so?

**Electra** : 100%

**Victoria** : OMG GUYS you can’t just SAY things like that I live with him now!!!

**Victoria** : What if he were in the room?? He’d be like “ey Vicky whatchu laughin at?” And you KNOW I am so bad at lying!!!!

**Jemima** : OH NOOOOO victoria where is he O.O

**Victoria** : Getting wii boxed to a pulp by Mistoffelees but BESIDES THE POINT!!!

**Etcetera** : wait wait wait i thought him and bombalurina hooked up during their freshman year? wasnt that a thing?

**Jemima** : NOPE that was him and tugger i remember tugger telling me that, definitely wasnt bomba

**Victoria** : But Bombalurina and Tugger right? Misto told me

**Jemima** : OMG YEAH neither of them regret it but they said they’d never do it again

**Electra** : Damn, bomba and alonzo never completed the triangle? Shameful

**Etcetera** : omg O////////O

**Etcetera** : guys……..

**Etcetera** : do you think…. that…. tuggers…….

**Etcetera** : packin shmeat?

**Jemima** : AGHFKLDHJGKLSFHDGJKHDS

**Victoria** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAA CETTIE

**Electra** : HN now that i think about it-

**Victoria** : I DON’T WANNA THINK ABOUT IT

**Etcetera** : IM SORRY IM SORRY IM JUST SO CURIOUS

**Victoria** : My face is burning up oh my god you guys

**Etcetera** : okay okay but like

**Etcetera** : we all agree that he is, right?

**Jemima** : misto knows…..

**Victoria** : STOOOOPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

**Etcetera** : you cant argue with me!

**Victoria** : IM NOT TRYING TO!!!!

**Jemima** : isnt it fun that like,, ALL our guy friends are bi? except for mungojerrie, and maybe plato idk him ngl

**Victoria** : Misto’s gay

**Etcetera** : mungojerrie’s not bi?

**Jemima** : hes ace

**Etcetera** : oh really? i didnt know

**Electra** : So that puts him at like the bottom of our “who gets it” list, just below alonzo

**Etcetera** : ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS?

**Electra** : My notepad is out, my pencil is fully sharpened, lets mcfreaking do this

**Victoria** : Oh my god, noo!!!

**Electra** : Alright shout out some names cmom

**Jemima** : hfjkdhfjdk coricopat

**Electra** : Saving it for marriage yet somehow still scores higher than alonzo, next

**Etcetera** : BAHAHA WERE SO MEAN

**Etcetera** : DO POUNCE NEXT

**Electra** : Right in the middle, so gets it but not like chad status gets it like tugger

**Jemima** : chad status…

**Electra** : Yeah, like he totally found the right person and did it but you would never see him on tinder you feel?

**Etcetera** : youre right..

**Etcetera** : omg… what about mistoffelees XD

**Victoria** : NO. NO. IT’S FUN UNTIL FAMILY’S INVOLVED.

**Etcetera** : okay fine fine, vic you pick one!

**Victoria** : Heh

**Victoria** : Alright, heh hehe

**Victoria** : Okay okay…

**Victoria** : Munk

**Electra** : That guy is getting a lot of sex.

**Etcetera** : BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Victoria** : STOOOOOP!!!!!

**Jemima** : hfjkdlhgsfgkjhfdgjfkldhg

**Jemima** : go on……..

**Electra** : You can just tell in his manner!

**Electra** : Hes calm

**Electra** : Hes confident

**Etcetera** : STOPP STOP IM PISSING

**Electra** : He doesnt try to BE anything, you know? He doesn’t NEED to flirt

**Etcetera** : does the shmeat run in the family……..

**Victoria** : ETCETERA YOU NEED TO GO TO BED.

**Jemima** : OHHHH MY GODDDDDD

**Etcetera** : ok but who would munk even be banging? he doesnt have a girlfriend

**Jemima** : the great rumpus cat

**Etcetera** : BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHA

  
  
  


→ DM: Bombalurina <3

**Demeter** : Ugh, guess who’s back at it

**Bombalurina** : Macavity~

**Demeter** : How’d you know?

**Bombalurina** : -Attachment: A Series of Screenshots-

→ DM: Ugly Pinecone 

**Ugly Pinecone** : Hey cutie

**Bombalurina** : Hey

**Ugly Pinecone** : I’ve missed you

**Bombalurina** : Fascinating

**Ugly Pinecone** : What you up to?

**Bombalurina** : Eating a grilled cheese

**Ugly Pinecone** : What else that mouth do?

**Bombalurina** : Talk shit

**Ugly Pinecone** : Your so funny

**Bombalurina** : Uhuh

**Ugly Pinecone** : What else you up to?

**Bombalurina** : Getting messaged by this really annoying incel

**Ugly Pinecone** : He sounds lame

**Bombalurina** : He is

**Ugly Pinecone** : Unlike you

**Ugly Pinecone** : So what would you be doing if I was there?

**Bombalurina** : Eating my grilled cheese

**Ugly Pinecone** : If there was no grilled cheese

**Bombalurina** : I’d make a grilled cheese

**Ugly Pinecone** : Haha and then what?

  
  


→ DM: Bombalurina <3

**Demeter** : Jesus fucking Christ.

**Demeter** : Block him already

**Bombalurina** : I like watching men struggle

**Demeter** : He thinks he’s winning

**Bombalurina** : Well if I manage to waste enough of his time then I’m saving someone else from it, right?

**Demeter** : Braver than any US Marine.

**Bombalurina** : Thanks babe

**Demeter** : Seriously though, you shouldn’t have to put up with it

  
  
  


→ DM: Bombalurina (fattest ass in marching band)

**Macavity** : Hey on a more serious note actually did Demeter change her number? She’s not responding

**Bombalurina** : Yeah actually, it’s 830-476-5664

**Macavity** : You’re such a star! Thank you

**Macavity** : Uh hey…

**Macavity** : Did Demeter change her voicemail?

**Macavity** : Uh????

**Macavity** : Is this some kind of joke?

**Macavity** : Bombalurina.


	8. [B]elightful

→ Group Chat: Bombalurina, Demeter, Munkustrap

**Demeter** : Wow, I really be out here watching my bio professor measure a fish

**Bombalurina** : I really be out here watching a decade old video of a baby pulling a string

**Munkustrap** : You’re both so smart and talented

  
  
  


→ DM: Alonzo LG

**Cassandra** : -Image Description: Selfie featuring Cassandra’s new buzz cut-

**Cassandra** : New haircut, did it myself

**Alonzo** : Oooohhhh myyyy goddddddddd 😍

**Alonzo** : We’ve been SERVED

**Cassandra** : 😘

**Alonzo** : Too bad I don’t like kiwi fruit, what with your fuzzy ass

**Cassandra** : I’m blocking you

**Alonzo** : Babe no wait I was kidding you look good I swear omg

**Alonzo** : Babe?

**Alonzo** : Baby it was a joke

**Alonzo** : Cassie please

  
  
  


The Deuteronomy Household

“He took it fine, actually, as expected, but I haven’t told our dad yet.” Tugger was laying on his side on the bed with his phone balanced on his ear.

“No need to rush that, but don’t let yourself overthink it if you wait too long.” Mistoffelees’ voice was slightly choppy over the receiver, but sweet nonetheless.

“Oh yeah, I’m not worried about his reaction, it’s the doing it part. And it’s the explaining, I don’t think he even knows what genderfluid  _ is _ .”

“Munkustrap’s good with words, he’ll help you.” It was quiet between them for a moment as Tugger breathed out a little. “I’m proud of you.” Misto’s voice came softly through his phone and he couldn’t help but smile. 

“Thank you,” he almost whispered, then spoke up a bit, “and thank you for everything, you know, helping me figure it out and find a word for it. I guess genderfluid is the word if there even is one.”

“Hey, I love you! It was a pleasure, I’m really really glad I could help.”

“I think I’m ready to tell people.”

“Oh yeah?” Tugger could hear Mistoffelees adjusting his phone.

“I’m not going to make it a deal. I’m just going to approach it the same way I approach everything else.”

“That sounds like a good plan. I’ll be right there with you.”

  
  
  


Snapchat from Alonzo

-Image description: It’s a little blurry, most of the image being Alonzo’s forehead. The text reads “Cas pls respond I’m sorry I swear”-

  
  
  


→ DM: Bombalu

**Tugger** :  🅱 ombalu

**Bombalurina** : Wanna see this fat ass  🅱 aby from this documentary i gotta watch for psych

**Tugger** : Yes  🅱 itch you know I love  🅱 abies

**Bombalurina** : -Image description: A picture of a laptop screen showing a baby with arms and legs like bread rolls and a round squishy face-

**Tugger** : Thicc  🅱 oy

**Bombalurina** : Most  🅱 odacious

**Tugger** : I’m genderfluid

**Bombalurina** :  🅱itch

**Bombalurina** : Oh wait you’re serious?

**Tugger** : Yeah

**Bombalurina** : Pronouns?

**Tugger** : All

**Bombalurina** : 🅱elightful

  
  
Twitter

Alonzo De Leon Gonzales [follow]

@EboyLonzzz

@Cassandra_Qadir_98 Baby please i was kidding

12:48PM - April 28

0 Retweets 0 Likes

  
  
  


→ Discord: The Boys

**Tugger** : Listen up sluts

**Tugger** : And Jemima

**Cori** : My ears are open

**Tugger** : @everyone

**Tugger** : Mothers and fuckers of the jury

**Tugger** : My boys and honorary boys

**Tugger** : I have an announcement

**Jemima** : proceed…..

**Tugger** : I’m genderfluid

**Jemima** : :D

**Misto** : <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

**Cori** : Oh! I’m so happy for you! What are we calling you now?

**Pounce** : IM CRYING REAL TEARS RIGHT NOW THIS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTWARMING DEVELOPMENT

**Tugger** : Now now, there’s no need for tears, I know being genderfluid makes me even hotter than what was previously considered possible but we will get through this together

**Pounce** : TUGGER I SUPPORT YOU

**Misto** : and i know i said it before but ill say it a million times over im so so proud of you <3

**Misto** : wait

**Misto** : where the fuck did they go, they disappeared from the server

**Misto** : @Jerrie did you kick them out?

**Jerrie** : not a boy…

**Misto** : YOU DUNCE

**Misto** : okay hold the celebrations until i invite them back

**Cori** : Well, if I am correct in saying this, Tugger’s “boy” status still remains unless they state otherwise

**Tugger** : ALRIGHT AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE I WAS RUDELY HATE CRIMED. 

**Tugger** : I’ll be taking any and all your pronouns please, every single one, I’m a pronoun whore now, but the high class high fashion kind

**Tugger** : And since I’m already so well known as The Rum Tum Tugger, there’s no need for you to be calling me anything else (but I do take nicknames such as “gorgeous” “handsome” and “love machine” when applicable).

**Cori** : I will take all these things into account, you fantastic fuck.

**Pounce** : THIS IS SUCH A PERFECT DAY

**Jemima** : do the girls know? OwO

**Tugger** : So far it's just you guys and Bombalurina but I’m not hiding anything so feel free to spread the word, less work for me

**Pounce** : im telling everyone i know

**Tugger** : Good.

**Alonzo** : IM HAVING A CRISIS

**Tugger** : Evening, slut#6 you’re late to my gender reveal party

**Alonzo** : Oh congrats it’s a clusterfuck, we been knew, unfortunately I don’t have time for the cutting of your bland ass cake that oh wow! Reveals not only blue, not just pink, but actually an amalgamation of every obnoxious color in the rainbow, turns out I’m lactose intolerant so no need to save me a slice. 

**Alonzo** : CASSANDRA HAS BLOCKED ME ON EVERYTHING.

**Tugger** : Wow someones bitter they didn’t get a corner piece

**Alonzo** : @misto CAN YOU TELL HER TO CALL ME

**Misto** : yikes im actually busy so sorry

**Alonzo** : I CAN HEAR YOU PLAYING SKYRIM

**Alonzo** : JUST BECAUSE YOU TURNED DOWN THE VOLUME DOESNT MEAN YOURE NOT STILL PLAYING SKYRIM

  
  
  


New Email

To <cassandra.qadir@jcu.edu>

From <alonzo.deleongonzales@jcu.edu>

Subject: PLEASE

Baby I’m sorry you look so good I’m sorry I called you a kiwi baby please

  
  
  


Venmo

Alonzo Gonzales paid Cassandra Qadir

2 min ago

Cassie please you’re so beautiful baby cmon

  
  
  


→ Discord: The Girls <3

**Cassandra** : I’m not actually that mad

**Tantomile** : You do make quite an adorable kiwi

**Bombalurina** : He’ll die out there if you don’t do something

**Cassandra** : That sounds like his mistake, actually

**Rumpleteazer** : well i for one LOVE the new look, its so grunge

**Rumpleteazer** : bare in mind that i do not know what grunge means

**Victoria** : I think it was a good choice cassie!!!!

**Victoria** : also, alonzo’s fine I think he’s just being dramatic

**Cassandra** : I didn’t actually block him, I just stopped responding, I’m not sure if he knows the difference

  
  
  


→ DM: Bombalurina

**Jemima** : bombbbaaaaaaa

**Bombalurina** : Yes, my sweet darling little sunflower?

**Jemima** : does tugger qualify for the girls server now owo

**Bombalurina** : Dear lord

**Bombalurina** : There’s a really specific vibe I’m going for with the girls server right now that Tugger would most definitely ruin

**Jemima** : oh come onnnnnnn tug knows how to dial it down when they need to

**Bombalurina** : Vibes, Jemima, vibes are so fragile…

**Jemima** : you KNOW it wouldnt be that bad i mean its just tugger whats the worst that could happen honestly

**Bombalurina** : You know what? If they ask to be let in, then okay

  
  
  
  


→ DM: Bombalu

**Tugger** : Can I join the girls server

**Bombalurina** : FUCK. Fine.

  
  
  


→ Discord: The Girls

→  **Rum Tum Tugger** joined. Say hi!

**Tugger** : Hello there, ladies

**Rumpleteazer** : OH SHIT WHATS POPPIN

**Demeter** : Um, can I ask?

**Tugger** : Fear not, I come in peace, Bombalu let me in

**Demeter** : Uhuh.

**Tugger** : I’ll leave, after, if you want me to but I just wanted to say that

**Tugger** : I’m genderfluid now, and I wanted you to know that, and I also wanted to ask if I can join your girl squad… If you’d let me?

**Jemima** : YES

**Rumpleteazer** : i say it counts, WELCOME ABOARD, WOMANWHORE

**Tantomile** : I am delighted that you’ve discovered this part of your identity, and I’m more than happy to welcome you into the girl squad with open arms

**Tugger** : Oh wow holy shit okay I thought you’d kick me out like straight away

**Tugger** : Thank you so much guys

**Demeter** : Oh, wow, congratulations, Tugger, that’s wonderful

**Tugger** : ...Was that sarcasm?

**Demeter** : Not at all! Sorry, here, a smiley face :)

**Tugger** : Thank you, Demeter, it means a lot

**Rumpleteazer** : ALRRIIIIGGHT! ZOOM SLEEPOVER!!!!

**Jemima** : YES!!!!!!!

  
  
  


→ DM: Cassandra

**Alonzo** : Baby pleeasse

**Alonzo** : You look so good

**Alonzo** : Look, I hearted the photo and everything

**Alonzo** : I like kiwi I swear

**Alonzo** : You don’t even look like a kiwi you look stunning

**Cassandra** : Would you stop whining?

**Alonzo** : CASSIE OMG

**Alonzo** : YOURE BACK

**Cassandra** : Yeah you annoyed me into responding

**Alonzo** : Works literally every time

**Cassandra** : You really think I’m stunning?

**Alonzo** : Yes, of course

**Cassandra** : Oh

**Cassandra** : Thank you

**Alonzo** : You’re welcome

**Cassandra** : You know, I do sorta miss you sometimes

**Alonzo** : OOOOOOOOOOOOH

**Cassandra** : Like a TINY bit do NOT let it go to your head


	9. Nah Nah Nah, No More Milk

→ DM: Plato 

**Victoria** : Hey!

 **Plato** : Hey!

 **Victoria** : How are you? I feel like it’s been forever

 **Plato** : Oh yeah it has, I’m not that great at answering my texts honestly

 **Victoria** : That’s okay, what have you been up to?

 **Plato** : Well I quickly realized I had no real hobbies so I spent the first month of quarantine pondering my existence

 **Plato** : Then I decided I would dedicate my time to getting really good at painting but I only got sorta good before I realized I didn’t like it

 **Plato** : Then I started watching roller coaster front row POV videos so I could feel something

 **Plato** : And I guess now I’m really into roller coaster engineering and history

 **Victoria** : Well hey!

 **Victoria** : You found your hobby!

  
  
  


→ DM: Munkustrap 

**Mistoffelees** : i cant believe i had to be awake for 11am for that

 **Munkustrap** : Are you not usually awake for eleven?

 **Mistoffelees** : oh im awake im just not functioning

 **Munkustrap** : You’ve really gone off the deep end huh, what happened to the Mistoffelees that made fun of me for bringing coffee to our eight am?

 **Mistoffelees** : victoria and alonzo beat him to a pulp with shovels and then used said shovels to dig his grave

 **Munkustrap** : Explain

 **Mistoffelees** : they stay up until ungodly hours watching netflix and playing guitar hero and my fear of missing out overrides my need to have a better sleep schedule than anyone i know so that i can brag and make fun of alcoholics and coffee drinkers

 **Munkustrap** : Okay that makes sense actually

 **Mistoffelees** : i go to bed early in comparison actually, they sleep in way past me so i get the mornings to myself

 **Munkustrap** : I’m the same with Tugger, he’s practically dead until noon

 **Mistoffelees** : some things never change

 **Munkustrap** : How do you like being an orientation leader so far?

 **Mistoffelees** : :I

 **Munkustrap** : Yeah that about sums it up.

It was better last year in person I promise

 **Mistoffelees** : its not hard to beat looking at the dead faces of quarantined freshman over a zoom call

i tried to make my background fun so i changed it to crab rave and no one even smiled, not one, not one of the little assholes smiled

 **Munkustrap** : Yeah I must admit, in person we did activities and stuff so even the people who didn’t want to be there looked somewhat alive

Pretty sure half my guys were on mute today

 **Mistoffelees** : honestly i should record myself sleeping tonight ill probably be able to hear myself murmuring “hi im mistoffelees my pronouns are he/him/his and im a sophomore physics major”

 **Munkustrap** : Those introductions are so counter-productive, honestly it goes in one ear and straight out the other. I don’t even remember their names by the end of it, let alone their majors and hometowns

 **Mistoffelees** : hI iM sIcK oF tHiS mY hOmEtOwN iS wHo GiVeS a FuCkSvIlLe aNd iM uNdEcIdEd

 **Munkustrap** : It’d really be so much better with a good ice-breaker

 **Mistoffelees** : i wish my orientation was online to be fair, ive never been that anxious and that bored simultaneously in my entire life

 **Munkustrap** : Yeah, it’s a lot of people so I bet it’s nerve-wracking

 **Mistoffelees** : mhmm

man im hungry

 **Munkustrap** : Not enough time to eat breakfast this morning?

 **Mistoffelees** : i did the orientation in bed, i just put the nearest shirt on and signed in

 **Munkustrap** : Incredible

 **Mistoffelees** : vic and lonz made brownies last night actually

yooooo if i brush my teeth and then eat a brownie thats like a mint chocolate brownie right there

 **Munkustrap** : Let me know how it goes

  
  
  


→ DM: Plato 

**Plato** : And so the tower of terror in florida is actually the original, and while it’s mechanics are a little outdated today, when it opened in the summer of 1994 it was an engineering marvel. So good, in fact, they replicated it in paris, california, and tokyo in the years following

 **Victoria** : Fascinating! 

  
  
  


→ Discord **:** The Boys 

**Cori** : I just found out that moths can make their genitals vibrate to throw off a bat’s sonar

 **Tug** : Wow

 **Tug** : Do you think mothman could vibrate his dick in my ass

 **Cori** : Welp I think this is where our friendship comes to an awful end 

  
  
  


→ DM: Plato 

**Plato** : But they got rid of the dueling dragons because somebody lost an eye when someone’s shoe from the red train hit someone on the blue train

 **Victoria** : That’s awful!

 **Plato** : Yeah it’s also a shame since the dueling dragons was a fan favorite, and everyone was worried that universal would install another 4D ride like the forbidden journey, but luckily for us they installed an actual roller coaster, Hagrid’s Motorbike Adventure

 **Plato** : It’s the most expensive roller coaster in the world now, it cost 300 million believe it or not, and people were waiting over ten hours to ride it the day it opened

 **Victoria** : That’s insane!  
  


→ Discord: The Jellicles 

**Pouncival** : my dad tried to jumpscare me and i almost spat out my milk at the dinner table

 **Alonzo** : Good, milk is disgusting

 **Victoria** : M-milk..? At dinner…???

 **Demeter** : I’m glad im not the only one confused by that

 **Alonzo** : What were you having for dinner? Huh? Applesauce? Soft carrots? Bite sized sweet potato? Fucking child. Goddamn milk-drinker.

 **Cassandra** : Oh my God milk is FINE you pompous asshole.

 **Victoria** : But what would you have for dinner that goes with milk?

 **Alonzo** : What are you, a baby? A little wee child? Need milk for your wee bones?

 **Pouncival** : AND WHAT IF I AM?? D:

 **Cassandra** : I drink milk every fucking day it’s a perfectly good drink.

 **Etcetera** : i like milk so much i wish i owned a cow so i could directly suckle it from the teat

 **Alonzo** : I’ll snap you in half

 **Etcetera** : you CANT my bones are TOO STRONG from all this M I L K E

 **Victoria** : What were you eating that goes with milk please tell me I’m so stressed right now

 **Tugger** : Milk can be drank with anything if you’re not a coward

 **Mistoffelees** : i put ice in my milk

 **Alonzo** : Misto you were born to be bullied actually

 **Tugger** : I C E I N M I L K ? ? ? ? ? ?

 **Mistoffelees** : makes it colder

 **Tugger** : But it’ll get watered down

 **Mistoffelees** : no?

 **Tugger** : When the ice melts

 **Mistoffelees** : you dont drink it slow enough for the ice to melt

 **Tugger** : Oh so now there’s a time limit on the milk

 **Pouncival** : youre out here chugging milk at the speed of light, how does it feel when ice AVALANCHES onto your face

 **Mistoffelees** : like a lot of cold little kisses

 **Cassandra** : If you’re drinking anything less than whole then the milk is watered down anyway

 **Tugger** : I can’t live in good conscious with ice in milk

 **Cassandra** : Anyway, Alonzo, your opinion is shit and I’m going to break into your plumbing and replace all the water with milk

 **Jemima** : no alonzo youre right milk is disgusting :/

 **Alonzo** : GET FUCKED, MILK-DRINKERS

 **Tugger** : Not you too Jemi…

 **Cassandra** : Your bones will pay the price for your insolence.

 **Jemima** : i dont like milk and ive never broken a bone

 **Pouncival** : ive broken a bone and im a milk drinker

 **Pouncival** : :(

 **Alonzo** : Well would you just look at the evidence.

 **Cassandra** : Alonzo could you just do me a favor real quick

 **Alonzo** : What is it

 **Cassandra** : Could you just, real quick, punch yourself in the face for me please

 **Alonzo** : What? Why?

 **Cassandra** : Because you’re pissing me off and I’m not allowed within six feet of you.

 **Coricopat** : I bathe in milk under the light of the full moon every month in order to connect spiritually to the cow that I was in my past life

 **Tugger** : I have never broken a bone in my life, but @Munkustrap has

 **Munkustrap** : Yeah, in middle school

 **Mistoffelees** : ive never broken a bone either so get absolutely fucked alonzo

 **Munkustrap** : My crush at the time signed my cast though so really who won

 **Alonzo** : I did. By not drinking milk.

 **Demeter** : I only drink strawberry milk, chocolate milk, and sugar milk

 **Alonzo** : What the fuck is sugar milk

 **Alonzo** : Tell me before I shoot you

 **Bombalurina** : Oh strawberry milk slaps

 **Demeter** : It’s regular milk but you put sugar in it

 **Jemima** : thats

 **Mistoffelees** : SO good

 **Jemima** : objectively worse than regular milk

 **Alonzo** : So not only are you drinking milk, you degenerates are pouring sugar in that motherfucker and letting the sugar sit at the bottom of your cup

 **Mistoffelees** : no no man listen okay you get your milk you heat that shit up on the stove, add a lil sugar, add a lil vanilla, perhaps some cinnamon

 **Demeter** : Yeah, Misto gets it!

 **Alonzo** : WARM MILK?

 **Demeter** : Alonzo, open your heart to the milk~

 **Alonzo** : OPEN YOUR FACE TO MY FIST, DEMETER

 **Mistoffelees** : since theres no strawberry milk at school i usually just mix the regular milk with vitamin water, it gets the taste nicely

 **Tugger** : You’re breaking my heart… 

**Jemima** : as long as no one here drinks root beer milk

 **Alonzo** : Jemi please tell me you just made that up just now and that’s not actually real

 **Tugger** : Milk is milk. Pure milk is a human right. No ice, no sugar, no fucking vitamin water you little shit, JUST milk.

 **Mistoffelees** : nyah ;3c

 **Alonzo** : You’re on thin ice, Mistoffelees.

 **Mistoffelees** : so’s my milk

 **Victoria** : but for real @pouncival what were you eating for dinner?

  
  
  


→ DM: Plato 

**Plato** : So while KingDa Ka is still the tallest roller coaster, it’s no longer the fastest

 **Victoria** : Uhuh…

  
  
  


→ DM: Munkustrap 

**Demeter** : Do you know how many dead undecomposed bodies there are on Mt Everest?

 **Munkustrap** : Probably a few

 **Demeter** : I’m worried about them

 **Munkustrap** : You know it’s been a while since we’ve done a movie night, let's do a movie night

  
  
  


→ DM: Plato 

**Plato** : And that’s how Green Lantern first flight became the worst ever six flaggs coaster

 **Victoria** : Wow, Plato

 **Victoria** : That’s certainly a lot of roller coaster knowledge you’ve wracked up

 **Plato** : Unrelated but I’m thinking of changing my major to mechanical engineering

 **Victoria** : I think maybe you should sleep on that idea


	10. Just a fantasy :P

DM: Mungojerrie → Munkustrap

**Mungojerrie** : hehe what would happen if you looked down and saw me super tiny like 3 inches tall on the floor at your feet in your bedroom? :P hehe just imagine. Be dark if you want its just a fantasy :P Make it a detailed answer :P

**Munkustrap** : Well

**Munkustrap** : Can I hear you speak?

**Mungojerrie** : yes BUT i have a comically high pitched voice becaus im sooo tiny

**Munkustrap** : Well I’d probably ask you some questions, such as what you’re doing in my bedroom, and which mad scientist turned you into a three inch human

**Mungojerrie** : ok what if i climbed on top of your head and jeager piloted your ass into becoming the BEST chef in paris

**Munkustrap** : I’d no longer need to be in school, I suppose… Perhaps I’d marry a french woman? Can you teach me to cook or do you have to be on my head every time I cook?

**Mungojerrie** : every time 

**Munkustrap** : Do you think my French wife would find it strange? Maybe I wouldn’t tell her about you

**Mungojerrie** : dont u think its a bit RUDE to not tell your WIFEabout your cooking pact with three inch man >:(

**Munkustrap** : Well, maybe, but consider her emotional reaction to finding out that her very talented chef husband is a farce and that all his great skills come from a tiny human being hidden in his chef’s hat? Wouldn’t it be more considerate to hide that from her so she’d never know that kind of pain?

**Mungojerrie** : do you even care about your wife????? sounds like you dont

**Munkustrap** : Of course I care about my wife!

**Mungojerrie** : oh YEAH?? WHATS HER FAVORITE COLOR THEN?????? WHENS HER BIRTHDYA?????? BET YOU DONT EVEN LIKE HER TASTE IN MUSIC

**Munkustrap** : She’s French, uh, her favorite color is brown and her birthday is in June, obviously, and she likes jazz

**Mungojerrie** : YOU MARRIED A FUCKING GEMINI?

**Munkustrap** : Mungojerrie, you’re a gemini

**Mungojerrie** : QUIT DERAILING!

  
  
  


→ Discord: The Jellicles

**President Strap** : Alright, thank you everyone for coming to our club elections last week!

**President Strap** : For those who missed it, here’s the results:

President: Me (Munkustrap)

Vice President: Demeter

Secretary: Mistoffelees

Treasurer: Cassandra

Head of public relations: Jemima

**President Strap** : Even though most of us are still at home and campus is a diseased cesspool, we’re gonna make the most of this semester! 

**Vice Premeter** : Congrats to everyone on eboard! And thank you to everyone who ran!

**President Strap** : @everyone Don’t forget about our Zoom club meeting tonight! We’re going to be doing improv games

**Alonzo** : How.

**Vice Premeter** : Well the eboard had some really good ideas! We’ll be doing two person scenes and they’ll be Zoom themed

**Pouncival** : can we just play jackbox games instead? or scribble or among us

**Jemima OwO** : AMONG US

**President Strap** : There’s too many people in the club for that

**Pouncival** : breakout rooms

**President Strap** : I’m trying my best here

**Vice Premeter** : I think it’ll be alright!

**Secrestoffelees** : yeah have some faith in the system

  
  
  


DM: Mungojerrie → Bombalurina

**Mungojerrie** : hehe what would happen if you looked down and saw me super tiny like 3 inches tall on the floor at your feet in your bedroom? :P hehe just imagine. Be dark if you want its just a fantasy :P Make it a detailed answer :P

**Bombalurina** : Omg.....I think I would put on my tap shoes and I would do a jolly little dance on the floor and you would be so scared and frantically running and scurrying around my ankles because I'm about to squash you with every step of my big feet :)

**Mungojerrie** : ohgodohfuckohgodohfuckohgodohfuckohgodohfuckohgodohfuckohgodohfuck

**Bombalurina** : Hehehehe where'd you go tiny 3 inch man? Did you run and hide from me? Are you under the bed? 

  
  
  


→ Group Chat: Munkustrap, Demeter, Bombalurina

**Bombalurina** : Wow props to you guys for being on top of your shit

**Bombalurina** : Idk about Zoom improv but I sure do believe in you both

**Munkustrap** : We tried it during our eboard meeting, it’ll work out as long as people stay hush

**Bombalurina** : Good luck with that

**Demeter** : The host can mute people so it will not be a problem

**Bombalurina** : Who’s hosting?

**Demeter** : Secre-stoffelees

**Bombalurina** : Oh word, well I’m looking forward to it

**Munkustrap** : How’s campus?

**Bombalurina** : Empty! Just vacant. Total ghost town. 

**Bombalurina** : I got lunch with Alonzo today since he moved back in, it was nice to see him actually. I think Jerrie and Teazer are back too but idk who else

**Bombalurina** : Wish you guys were here

**Demeter** : I don’t have any in person classes so financially it just wouldn’t make sense… Hopefully next semester :(

**Munkustrap** : Maybe I could visit? Is that dangerous? I’m only forty minutes away

**Bombalurina** : PLEASE although I wouldn’t want you to catch anything and bring it back to your dad

**Munkustrap** : Yeah, that’s the worry

**Demeter** : If I can convince my parents to let me drive five hours I’ll be there

**Bombalurina** : Well fuck I’d help pay for gas, I could sneak you into my dorm and everything

**Demeter** : I know this is pretty mainstream but

**Demeter** : Getting real sick and tired of this whole “pandemic” business

**Munkustrap** : Yeah actually how long is this supposed to last because I am a hugger and I am… very sad

**Bombalurina** : I love you both so much

**Bombalurina** : The moment this ends the three of us are making plans, I’m not taking any time for granted after this, I’ma be a different bitch I swear

**Demeter** : I love you both too…

**Munkustrap** : Yeah you really mean the world to me, both of you, being without you this summer has kind of been driving me mad

**Munkustrap** : We have to go back to the beach

**Bombalurina** : FUCK

**Demeter** : We do!!!

  
  
  


DM: Mungojerrie → Tugger

**Mungojerrie** : hehe what would happen if you looked down and saw me super tiny like 3 inches tall on the floor at your feet in your bedroom? :P hehe just imagine. Be dark if you want its just a fantasy :P Make it a detailed answer :P

**Tugger** : You ever heard of a cum jar?

**Mungojerrie** : :I

  
  
  


→ Group Chat: Munkustrap, Demeter, Bombalurina

**Munkustrap** : Okay I just talked to my dad

**Munkustrap** : As long as I follow all safety precautions

**Munkustrap** : I can visit you, Rina

**Bombalurina** : OH FUCK DAWG

**Bombalurina** : IM GONNA CLEANMY ROOM OH SHIT

**Munkustrap** : Yeah it’s been a while since I’ve seen someone who isn’t Tugger and wow okay I’m very excited!

**Bombalurina** : IM SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW WAIT CALL ME SO YOU CAN SEE HOW WIDE IM SMILING 

**Demeter** : Oh!

**Demeter** : Hey that’s super cool! Send me pictures and stuff while you’re there!

  
  
  


DM: Mungojerrie → Alonzo

**Mungojerrie** : hehe what would happen if you looked down and saw me super tiny like 3 inches tall on the floor at your feet in your bedroom? :P hehe just imagine. Be dark if you want its just a fantasy :P Make it a detailed answer :P

**Alonzo** : Um

**Alonzo** : Deez nuts?

**Mungojerrie** : bad answer, get funnier 

**Alonzo** : Man fuck you

  
  
  


DM: Mistoffelees → Tugger

**Mistoffelees** : hi liberal, i love you

**Tugger** : UH HELLO??? 

**Tugger** : HOT BOYFRIEND ALERT??????????

**Tugger** : I want to.. MM….. kiss you all over

**Mistoffelees** : stop every time i see a picture of you i fall feverish and ill like a love-stricken victorian gentleman gently touching the signature from the tender letter his true love wrote to him except i am the son of a wealthy estate and i am engaged to a young lady because of business reasons, she is kind and gentle but i am madly in love with another man, and when the back of his hand accidentally brushes past mine as we walk next to each other i feel faint and he writes me letters that imply he feels the same but we cannot outright say it should we ever be caught

**Tugger** : Yeah I mean I get you 100% I see a picture of you and I’m like yep would smash

**Mistoffelees** : well i AM sexy secretary now ;))))

**Tugger** : YOU ARE!

**Mistoffelees** : taking notes on my laptop ;)))))

**Mistoffelees** : wearin sexiiee secretary clothes ;))))))

**Tugger** : I voted for you

**Mistoffelees** : i know ;3c

**Tugger** : You’re stunning

**Mistoffelees** : its true ;3c

  
  
  


DM: Mungojerrie → Mistoffelees

**Mungojerrie** : hehe what would happen if you looked down and saw me super tiny like 3 inches tall on the floor at your feet in your bedroom? :P hehe just imagine. Be dark if you want its just a fantasy :P Make it a detailed answer :P

**Mistoffelees** : well i wouldnt kill you

**Mungojerrie** : alright, solid start

**Mistoffelees** : i think id take you outside with a cup and a piece of paper and gently relocate you to the nearest blade of grass

**Mungojerrie** : thank you for taking care of me

**Mistoffelees** : of course, trans rights

**Mungojerrie** : trans rights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi its been a while, ive been in school and stuff so i havent had much time to write but i wanted to get something out uwu


End file.
